


Who Do You "Like" Like, Dave?

by gingerbread man (xphantomhive)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: All characters aside from John and Dave are only mentions, Dave wants him to figure it out himself, Hammertime - Freeform, John is oblivious, John just wants to know who Dave likes, Kisses, M/M, Pepsicola, cavity inducing fluff, cuteness, hand-holding, johndave - Freeform, per usual, t+ for swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 15:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3941203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xphantomhive/pseuds/gingerbread%20man
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is John Egbert and all you want to know is who your best bro like likes. Is that so much to ask?</p><p>Your name is Dave Strider and jegus, can your best bro be any more oblivious?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who Do You "Like" Like, Dave?

**Author's Note:**

> IT'S MY OTP AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO
> 
> CRY IF I WANT TO
> 
> YOU WOULD CRY TOO IF HUSSIE DID THIS TO YOOOOOU

You love John. You really do. Not only in the sense that you  _love_ him, but as a best bro -- you love him in two ways. You trust him with your life, but you'd never tell him that. But right now, you have never had more of a desire to punch him right in the fucking face. "Hey. Dave. Who do you like? Dave? Daaaaaaave. Who is it? It's Karkat, right? I'm right. It's Karkat."

It's been a day. You haven't seen him for years, and it's been a day of him knowing that there's a strong chance that you play ball for the same team. And honestly, you should have never hinted at it. John is dense when he wants to be, but if you hint at something enough, he'll usually pick up on it. You'd give him an award for figuring out, after several years, that you don't have as much as an interest in ladies as you'd always hinted at. But the one thing he can't seem to figure out -- and the one thing he wants most desperately to -- is who you  _like_ like. Yes, that's how he'd said it. What a fucking dweeb.

"Dave. Daaaaave!" He pesters. Your eye is twitching. You understand why Rose always had a hard time dealing with John, because sometimes he gets fucking annoying. Sometimes you can't even believe you fell for this doofus. "Dave, please. Just tell me. I already know you're gay, so you might as well tell me who you loooove. I bet I know them. I know them, don't I? Is it Gamzee?" You raise an eyebrow, rubbing your temples. Gamzee? Jegus. This kid knows you can't stand Gamzee, why would he even resort to asking that?

"Wow, Egderp," You comment. "Didn't think you'd ever run outta' guesses to the point where you would say Gamzee. You know I don't really like him. Like, at all. So why would it be him?"

John shrugs. He looks honestly defeated, whether be from trying to guess who you like or the game itself. You might say it's about both right now, but moreso the game. His blue eyes are still sparkling, somehow, like they always do. He looks like the embodiment of happiness, with that dorky grin that can't seem to be erased no matter what the fuck happens to him. You wonder how he does it. You wonder if he'd give you tips on how to be happier. Just kidding -- you're perfectly fine being stoic and concealing your emotions. Never bothered you before, won't bother you now. "It's Karkat."

You sigh. Not back to this again. Sure, you'd thought about dating the alien once or twice, but you had always liked John -- you'd liked him since the beginning, and you still fucking like him now. Maybe you can just tell him. Doesn't really fucking matter, the kid's religiously heterosexual. "Fuck, how many times do I gotta tell you that it  _ain't_ Karkat? Every now and then I'd think about datin' him, but he's my bro. Wouldn't fuck up a good friendship with a relationship." _  
_

You're pretty sure you just contradicted yourself there. Fuck. Wow. "Fine. Then Sollux?"

He looks so hopeful that you're ready to let him believe it is Sollux. Maybe he'll get off your back and stop looking at you with those puppy dog eyes, wide smile, with his glasses slightly tilted. Oh, yeah. There it is. That's why you'd fallen for him. Not to mention he's a pretty great fucking person, despite bouts of being an annoying little shit. "Sure. Whatever you'll believe that will make you feel better, Egderp." You turn away. He huffs like a child.

"Dave! I just want to know! Why can't you tell me? I know you're best bros with Karkat and all, but I was your best bro first, wasn't I? Unbelievable." He turns the other way as you turn back, muttering curse words and angry insults under his breath, arms crossed over his chest. He's probably pouting like a little baby. Also, had you sensed a little bit of jealousy in his voice? Hot damn, you sure hope so.

"Don't get your panties in a twist, Egderp. You were my best bro first and I'd tell you, but I don't think you wanna know. It'll piss ya' off." You say, and he stares at you as if you'd lit a puppy on fire right in front of him. Holy shit, does he need to calm himself down a little bit. You didn't know something like this would get him so uppity. It's just a crush, why the hell does he care so fucking much? "Dude, if it means that much, I'll tell you."

He lights up like a Christmas tree. Well shit, now you don't have a choice. "I bet it's Karkat!"

You shake your head. What an oblivious fucking fuck. "Yeah, sure. You gonna walk back over here or what?"

"Why would I have to--"

He's close enough for you to kiss. That's what you do to cut him off in the middle of his sentence. You just lean forward like the badass motherfucker you are and press your lips to his, pretty surprised that he doesn't push you off right away and stutter about how "I-I'm not a homosexual, Dave!" but instead he melts into the kiss pretty easily. He complies without a second thought. You aren't really sure why the fuck it's happening, but you're glad for it. He pulls back first. "Dave, do you like  _me_?"

Oh, for fucks sake. You roll your eyes beneath your shades. "No, Egderp. I always go around makin' out with my friends, you know, just casual. That's how I always greet Karkat. A big fuckin' smooch." His eyes widen. Dear lord, he believes you. You pray to god, any god, to bless his poor soul. "John, oh my god. I don' go around kissin' people, jegus. Yes I like you. I can't believe it took you that fuckin' long to figure it out, only been flirtin' with you for five years now."

"Oh. Well." He sucks in a breath through his teeth. This is either very bad or very good. "I like you too. But I'm not a homosexual!" He says it like an afterthought. What a fucker.

"Yeah, because some people are this awesome thing called  _bi_. Or maybe you're just Davesexual."

He flushes. Your pride swells. "Whatever, Dave," he mumbles, but you feel him grab your hand and your lips upturn, if for only a second. He doesn't notice.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like twenty to thirty minutes, I swear. It wouldn't leave me alone -- the idea was like a loud ass bee, buzzing in my ear until I paid attention to it. I had to get it out of my mind before it consumed my thoughts.
> 
> If you didn't like it that's cool. If you did, that's cooler. Hope it didn't suck as much as I think it did (though I'm pretty sure it probably did.)


End file.
